Introducing Ruth Frances; Be My Guest!
Those of you who visit regularly will know I feel most happy when I'm making things... walking in the sunshine... cuddling Rod... eating good food... there's a long list! And I also like to share that side of my life on this blog, which could make me come across as someone who's living on a cloud...That's not to say I don't sometimes feel tired, or down, or affected by things I can't control. It's at those times I work extra hard to 'find the happy'. People sometimes tell me I have a naturally sunny disposition, but I personally believe we can train ourselves to be 'naturally happy' (I realise that sounds like a contradiction..!). In other words, I'm a fan of finding ways to keep smiling, grounded, and on the optimistic-side-of-realistic... which, in turn, makes me a fan of anyone who facilitates that!
I took the photo above in El Chorro, in my opinion one of the most beautiful places on earth. I was visiting family in Spain at the beginning of July, and thought this post might provide a fitting place to share a photo from that trip that makes me happy :) If you have a way to listen to some music at the same time as reading today's guest post, contributed by Wellbeing and Empowerment Coach Ruth Frances, here's the soundtrack for today; taken from Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet, I think Gavin Friday's Angel is pretty much perfect...
I've known Ruth for a long time through work, although it must be a couple of years since we've actually seen each other... I felt like we were in touch, as I watched important life events popping up on her Facebook timeline (don't give me that face, I know you make yourself feel connected to people that way too!), but I didn't really have any clue as to what was going on 'behind the pictures'. So when I bumped into her in a cafe a couple of weeks ago, I was eager to hear what she'd been up to. It seems she's now living a life dedicated to making people happy, that's the long and short of it really! So, instead of me telling you all about her work, I decided to let Ruth tell you part of her story; I hope you find it as inspiring as I do...
When Gema asked me if I would like to guest blog on her wonderful Sequins and Slippers, I could not refuse! How exciting to be able to get my passion and work out there to all of you lovely people.
She asked me to summarise what I do by imagining I was chatting to someone on a flight and only had a half hour to tell them, in a nutshell. Well, I have realised having sat down to do this blog post, that I could talk about this stuff for a whole day, a week, a year!
But here goes, in a nutshell. Love yourself and you will be happy. Love yourself and you will find love with a partner. Love yourself and you will be successful.
The key message, LOVE YOURSELF!!
Now this may not sound difficult to some, especially if you know about the kind of work I do, but to others, this is near on impossible. And I was one of those people.
I did not even realise that I didn't love myself. I couldn't understand why time and time again boyfriends would treat me badly, cheat on me, disrespect me (continually) and ultimately leave me when I had given every part of my heart and soul to the relationship.
I couldn't understand why people misjudged me at work, why I was so unhappy in a job a hated in the first place, how did that happen?
Friends would treat me like dirt and let me down continually. And those who didn't used to vomit their issues and negative outlooks all over me (metaphorically of course, yuk).
So, in 2006 whilst earning good money in a job I thought I liked but still felt miserable, searching for happiness in nightclubs and vodka in London, after many heart breaks, a terrible Brazilian experience (boyfriend not waxing, he's a whole blog post on his own, maybe another time) I realised ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH and sought help from a metaphysical teacher and workshop with the philosophies of Louise L. Hay (author of many wonderful books including 'You Can Heal Your Life' and the founder of Hay House, www.louisehay.com). The teacher was Chris Joe Wade. A healer and all round wonderful man. He gave me techniques to change my life.
I was never the same again! It wasn't easy as it requires work to change mind patterns that you have stuck with for years and years, but gradually, through affirmations, self awareness, vision boards, mind set change, life style change, yoga, healthy alternatives, acupuncture, assertion training…. the list goes on! I began to feel like I had control over my own life and stopped attracting the 'wrong' guys, changed my work to suit my needs and desires, stopped attracting toxic friendships and felt peace and tranquility even when on my own, a big fear of mine since being a child.
I knew I needed to get this work out there - If I had my way they would teach it in schools!
In 2009 I trained as a life coach, Love Heals teacher (philosophies of Louise Hay with Chris Joe Wade), then as an empowerment coach and I live my life in a way that I could only imagine back then when going through so much pain.
I met the man of my dreams, have wonderful nourishing friendships, work in the diverse and wonderful worlds of TV, self development, media and make-up all my favourite things. It is possible and it can be done and you can Love Yourself Happy, in fact you can Love Yourself to wherever and whatever you want to be.
5 key steps to Love Yourself Happy
* First of all, assess what you DO NOT like or want in your life right now. It's important to highlight what you are not happy with rather than just feeling low or down and not 'knowing' why. Get clear about what you need to change or eliminate in your life!
* Find wonderful teachers that you can relate to. If you don't like reading, download audio books on iTunes. One thing Louise Hay said which is so true, it's all the same stuff but communicated differently. So you may resonate with one author / teacher more than another. What's right for your friend may or may not be right for you.
* Get some affirmations to guide your life. What you think about and focus on, you attract into your life so it's important to try to focus only on the things you want! Think how many times we sit there worrying and focusing on the very things we DO NOT want in our lives. This is a huge change of mind habit and I work a lot with clients on affirmations and practice, practice, practice. I printed out my affirmations and one from Louise Hay's book, framed them and had them by my bed. It was the only way I knew I would remember them at first. I made myself repeat them every morning and every night aloud (if I was alone) and silently in my head. Pictures can be very powerful too. If you find an image of something that makes you feel happy, frame it or stick it in your diary. As long as you can see it every day. That's the key. We are changing our mind habits.
* Find activities that are good for your health whilst moving your body. Energy can get stale and stagnant in the body so it's important to get moving and breathing deeply, whatever works for you. Yoga, sport, gym work outs. But get breathing correctly and you will find you feel better, we need oxygen! Increased blood flow and circulation is also so good for us, the endorphins and hormones released are scientifically proven to help us feel better and sleep better too. It's a better day when we're not feeling exhausted.
* Be gentle on yourself. Do not beat yourself up if you find you struggle changing your mind patterns, habitual thoughts and you feel stuck again. Just notice it before you slip into feeling terrible about yourself, try again with your affirmations and listen to something uplifting, youtube something positive, read a great passage in a book that guides you to feel better again. Anything that works for you to change the usual pattern.
I do one-to-one empowerment coaching, group workshops and am currently developing online programmes so please follow me, add me, whatever you like and I'll keep you posted.
You are worth it, you can be happy and fulfilled and anything is possible.
Love Yourself. Ruth x